…why won’t you release me?

September 14, 2009

I did it! I broke down and cried twice last night, because I just could NOT get the choreography down. I was looking at it all wrong, and I was stressed and focusing on the wrong things completely.

I finally stopped trying to figure out how in the world I was supposed to cue it and just learn the dance! I spent five hours learning that choreography. After my ten hour day. I did a wee bit of yoga, hugged my parents’ kitties and then crashed.

I was back at training at 7:30 this morning. I did better than I thought I would. Don’t get me wrong, it was still utterly humiliating, but I am 99% positive that I was not the “worst” of the bunch. Bottom three, definitely. But not the worst 🙂

That was just in the first run-through, where we taught only the first two minutes of the song (mine was 4:36). We were recorded and then we had to watch ourselves (did I mention the humiliation?) and we got lots of great, helpful feedback so that we could go through the whole song at the end of the day. In the meantime, we did crazy stuff with using barbells on our collarbones (yes you read that right) and our shoulders while salsaing and sambaing, and sticking tape on the heels of our shoes so that we absolutely would not put out heels down while Latin-dancing. We did tons of isolation drills which were something akin to torture, but really super helpful in the end.

When I gave my final instruction, I did so so so so so much better. I let myself get sassy and stopped worrying about cueing. So I don’t really have the instructor bit down, but I do know how I am going to get there.

The whole weekend was a brutal, grueling, amazing experience. I knew it would be if I could just get through it. I am tremendously proud of myself for going through with it and for pushing constantly. I don’t think I have ever really pushed my limits since my injury, and it was fantastic to be able to do so in a relatively safe environment.  While my body hurts so tremendously bad (6 blisters on the feet, two bruises on the bottoms of my feet, bruises on my collar bones and shoulders, and someone set my low back on fire) – the one thing that doesn’t hurt is my injured leg. My IT band is a little bit irritated (as it should be!) but it doesn’t hurt, and I never thought it was going to collapse.

I just got my brother to make me coffee. Now I need to see if I can get him to make me dinner and call a visiting masseuse.


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